Press Start, Click, Nothing

Why is it that the battery just always dies when you want it the most. The thing just collapses and you are sat there on your bike with all your kit left wondering why the hell do I bother with this. My heart always sinks and I'm filled with rage. And I don't care that I feel rage, I let it flow as I curse the inanimate lump of metal and curse it as though my rage will somehow power it.

Why can't I just boot the thing or stamp on it or kick it somehow until the starter motor starts spinning. It's just infuriating. I left it 2 weeks and dead as a dodo. Give me a break. 2 weeks and it dies. Design a better one boffins. Rockets and some tit called Elon are flying around and yet I can't get a battery that doesn't die.

Alas it gets worse. I went to Halfords near Tesco and bought a booster, nothing happened. I wasted a day going there coming back and charging the battery in between. That didn't work although the booster seemed pretty decent. I then swapped it for a workshop smart charger and that did do pretty well. I had the thing going quick enough, pretty straight forward manual and with a bit of help with gemini I got the thing set up and the battery charged.

Imagine my pessimism nonetheless. Ok great, it charged, but as per usual lady luck was nowhere to be seen. Probably watching love island or shopping for sandals with her divorce money. Slag. I reconnected and nothing cylinders compression not even a whirr of an attempted turn of the engine.

I HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.