Is Agile still agile?

Nah, not from what I have seen. A lot of management has adopted the term but not the principles. I have worked in large, corporate businesses for the last decade and all I have heard is this word thrown about like food on a baby's plate.

It's a bit nuts to think but there is actually a whole ethos behind the term. It's a whole belief system rather than a single buzz word for trying to re-invigorate burnt out, aged staff in sclerotic organisations that lack dynamic thinkers.

Being obsessed with rules, policy, process and control probably had its time and place but it sounds like utter bollocks to me. There have been several 45yr old plus types who go on about how they worked in finance doing projects that pissed money away and they all went on the lash friday lunch until whenever. They have the answer and it was waterfall. I've worked my nuts off so far to get into these cunt mill factories of mediocrity that have somehow blotted out other businesses and established themselves ahead of other worthy professions. These wankers are the same types talking about 'agile'.

It is supposed to be breaking the rules, getting code developed and making it meaningful. When I hear the project managers talking about ways of working as though they once single-handedly delivered an entire mobile app on their own then I want to let a burst of .50 cal rip through them.

Chill out. I actually need to type it because I feel the anger as I write. Agile is supposed to be the antithesis of the corporate way. The opposite of the 'maximum micro management' approach of old-sweat IT.

Read the fucking manifesto bellend, https://agilemanifesto.org/ it's there if you need it. Focus on delivering meaningful work to the user. Not your nit picking over who gets to design a solution, inflated ego, sign-off process and penny pinching. I'm the boss so I need the credit blah, blah.

The issue, I think, comes down to that all too human need for a sense of control. In this case, control over expensive, risky changes. Sure there is the ADKAR model to help make managers and strategists talk about inner change but the workplace can be a horrific place of politics, personalities and general bullshit. It's another theory we talk about but not something we all actually adopt. Managers need stuff delivered to justify their existence in the foodchain so they need maximum control to deliver an outcome that gives them recognition from their manager and so on.

So it all goes round, find the latest management theory, be an evangelist for it, believe in it so much that you actually believe in it then you're in a good place for survival and maybe even promotion. But then there are those who genuinely believe in Agile and try to live it. I think we all know who we are on that strangely familiar spectrum, either the loud mouthed, shit talking hypocrite or the die-hard fanatic fighting the power. Maybe you don't give a fuck.

Agile isn't agile without both sides of the camp and plenty of sites like Medium can pump you full of tales of the shop floor for a price and amusing rants. In the end Agile will always be Agile because its an excuse to pretend that we are different. Ideas are ideas for as long people are people, some win some lose, some rant some moan, you're a hero, I'm a villian. Maybe its only outcomes that count and a large dose of fortune, if you have a crystal ball please put it in a manifesto for future generations to waste their time in a constructive manner. Better than world wars at least.